I dont know how I am feeling right now.
Well , i actually know how i just dont know why i feel this way.
I want to get away from you, rid myself of you, quit thinking of you. But then I dont want to. It’s stressing me out.
I want to stay away from you for a bit to see how i am without you. I want to rid myself of thoughts of you just so i can not be concerned about you. I want to get away because i am hurting you
You must notice that i am an all or nothing person: i give my all or nothing, i feel all or nothing, etc. and aa an equal reaction, i want it all or nothing. It has been like that for me all my life. That’s why it is hard for me to just be mediocre. To just feel half of things, to just show half feelings. It’s hard. Really hard. So this is why i need to get away: i cant make the things i feel go down in the middle; it’s either i feel them or i dont. I am sorry that i am this, i do my best for you, you know that.. So now i dont know whats next